People in my world don’t understand it. They look at one of my paintings – they’re hanging on the walls so they’re kind of difficult to miss – and say “that’s nice” but I can see they just say something nice because they don’t want to say what they really think (“what a waste of paint!”). That’s fine. I get it. That’s what we do when we try to be polite, right?
If I was able to paint something identifiable, or as someone pointed out to me: “I only like paintings where I can see what it’s supposed to be!”, maybe I would get different reactions, who knows and to a reaction like this one I can only say “fair enough!” and mean it. But since I can’t draw anything identifiable my paintings are abstract. By the way.. saying “my paintings” is difficult! I feels pretentious. I’m no artist. I’m just an amateur who just recently started playing with paint (again). It’s going to take some time to get used to. Maybe it’s the infernal Law of Jante that is putting mental obstacles in the way as usual. I don’t care for those ten “rules” and I wish they weren’t a part of Scandinavian culture. I ignore them the best I can! To the warp with them..
Anyway.. I don’t try to paint something identifiable. I try to paint what I really want; emotions and moods. You know.. these diffuse state of mind kind-of-things that you can’t put a label on and that’s the beauty of them. At least to me. I choose the colours that represents the mood I want to visualize. I like the pouring technique and making a mess. Because for now it’s all I know a little bit about and it makes me happy. This way I get something unique every time but I can still “see” the emotions in the painting. I love a painting that makes me think of something I know. One of my “good” paintings is one with the coulours I’m most comfortable with at the time and that creates the feeling I was trying to put on the canvas at that moment. Very short and inadequately put: I try to paint emotions. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense at all..
This one has no title either, but I actually had a goal with it. Maybe when it’s done it’ll have a title too. For now it’s just “not done”. It’s been hanging on my wall for some weeks now, trying to show me what’s wrong with it. Something’s off. Maybe I’ll try and fix it or maybe I should simply make a new one – same goal – but do it better – or different – next time. It’s too nice, too “clean”. It’s not bad, but it’s not good either.. I know what I want the end result to be. Question is: can I get there? I don’t know..
Have a great day and stay safe ☺
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