This was a little over a week ago -ish.. I’ve been completely down and useless for a while. Hurting, exhausted and at the end of my mental rope. That’s what happens when you’re driven to far but there’s no way out. The following is why I hate winter with a passion and it’s not going to change any time soon. It’s just the way it is.
This is what it looks like when I try to find some room for at big truck. There’s about 15″ of snow and I hate having to move it. There’s nothing for it though. No room for the truck, no heat so get on with it. Also the garbage truck is coming soon and the postman so yeah. Brake up the journey, take a pause when you need it, have a cup of coffee or a snack and you’ll get there.. eventually. Halfway through the plow will push all the snow from the road into the area you just cleared but hey guess what.. he doesn’t give a flying *beep* – maybe he even finds it funny. I guess I should be grateful for the fact that the road gets cleared at all. That doesn’t usually happen.
It took me about four hours to finish. It’s heavy for the back, the breathing is something that needs a lot of mental focus but I got there. It’s the best I can do. I’m done! Exhausted but finished. And I made it in time so the truck could get in and deliver the pallet. And then tomorrow I’ll deal with that, but right now I need to rest so badly. I’m looking forward to a nap – it’s going to be great. The truck came. He’s a great driver. Tried to deliver as close to the door as possible. Well done and thank you so much. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Today I’m just too tired.
Wait a minute.. The plastic is loose and flapping? That’s not right, let me check. … No..nononoNO!! There’s a hole so the briquettes are exposed. They are made of compressed sawdust and they seem sturdy but they are.. sawdust. The weather forecast promised slush tonight so that means moisture. Moisture means swelling. Swelling means useless. Useless means no heat for me. I have to get these inside! Today. Before it gets dark. (A whole bunch of cursewords that I can’t even spell is written here..!)
I must admit I felt like crying at that point. It was just too much, you know. But.. That’s not going to help so I did the only thing that made sense; I got my service dog. She was thrilled to be allowed in the front while I was working there. Tied to the pallet with room to move – I need her close because prey in the area. She had fun playing with the pallet and cheering me up. Keeping me going. But I’m slow and she lost interest and began to be uncomfortable so I let her inside again.
Continued. Counting the layers. 96 packets. About 22 pounds each. From the pallet to the limo that was parked in the doorway. The stairs are not my friend, that’s why I do it this way so I don’t have to walk up and down the stairs more than I have to. I could put 4 packets on the limo without them falling down. Then inside and take them from the limo and into the room where I keep them and stack them neatly. Repeat.
It’s dark now. Last four packets are on the limo. The pallet is empty! Just need to hawl that out back – and forget about it until tomorrow. I’m beyond exhausted. I’m cold, hungry and semi depressed. The hands and wrists are useless for a week now. But I’m proud I got this far, and I’m grateful for the heat in the room. With a little luck I got heat for maybe 3-4 weeks. I hope so.
Inside getting the fire going in both ovens (translates into wood stove??). Ah the fire is soo nice and warm. Heated leftovers and eating while I’m sitting in front of the fire getting the feeling in my feet back. Listening to the slush hitting the window. Aaaah yaas! Getting drowsy. A little rest would be nice. This day is not one I wish to remember so I’ll do my best to forget it. No pity – just telling it like it is. I hate winter and hope it’s over soon. It’s just the way it is..
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